Friendships are such a wonderful and special part of life. From memory making to going through the highs and lows with your peers makes life so much richer. As a child, learning social skills and how friendships fit is a huge learning curve as they go through their childhood and find their ‘people’. As a parent, how do you connect and how do you teach your kids basic social skills and about what a great friendship can be?
Today Janine is joined by Caroline Maguire and in this episode they discuss:
How do we teach our children social and emotional awareness in a fun and play filled way? Eventually our children will become adults so when they walk out into the world, we want them to step into their lives as aware and in control of their emotions as possible.
In this episode we discuss:
The transition to preschool to elementary school can be such an anxious time for both parents and for the children. There’s a lot of unknowns to get them ready for and sometimes we think there’s lots we have to do to prepare them for starting. Today we discuss what you can do to help reduce anxiety for your little one with nursery practitioner, Caroline Allen.
In this episode they discuss:
There is so much research about how play supports learning. But how do you, as a teacher implement that in the classroom? You may feel overwhelmed and not know where to start.
If you’re interested in figuring out how to incorporate more play into school, especially at the early elementary school levels, I highly recommend reading
Play matters, and it makes a difference for children as they grow and develop. Children learn best through play. One of my favorite books all about the impact play can have on social development is by Dr. Stuart Brown…
I’ve been wanting to read this book since I watched Dr. Brown’s TED talk all about play. As someone who is a huge advocate for play, reading this book was thrilling. There are so many great quotes and wonderful information about the importance of play and it’s impact on our social lives. Here are a few of my favorite highlights from the book.
My husband loves to do things with the kids, but arts and crafts really aren’t his thing. He likes to play video games with them, take them on outings, or play outside. When he saw the book, he thought it would be cool to do a couple of the projects inside. We’ve done a few of the projects inside already and we can’t wait to try more. Here’s what we’ve done so far:
You Are a Social Detective is a great introduction to Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking, written especially for kids who struggle in social situations. The book is divided into 3 different sections. Whenever I use this book as a teaching tool, I read one section at a time.
The first section focuses on having different kinds of smarts, including school smarts and social smarts. It discusses how we use social smarts all the time, whenever we are around others. This is so important for kids to understand. You need to be using your social smarts anytime you’re around others. This section also focuses on expected behaviors and the consequences of those actions. If we do things that are expected, other people feel good and want to be around us more.
Friendships can be awesome, but they can also be complicated. For kids who struggle to understand the basics of how to be a friend, or what to do when things get a little more tricky, using books is a great way to start conversations and talk about friendship with kids. There are so many great books out there - here are some of my favorites divided up by category.
The Incredible 5-Point Scale by Kari Dunn Baron and Mitzi Curtis is a great resource for people to use in a school setting, a social group setting or at home. It can be used to address a number of different issues, and it’s a great resource for working not only with kids on the spectrum, but for all kids who need a little extra teaching around social and emotional concerns.
I recently found the website of Annie Fox, M. Ed., which is full practical advice for teens, parents and educators! Annie Fox, M. Ed. has written a new book for elementary school aged girls about dealing with friendship issues called Girls Q&A Book on Friendship. As a school counselor, I would have used this book all the time! This book answers questions that I was faced with on a regular basis. The social scenario for girls is complex and ever changing. This is a great book for girls to read to know that they are not alone, and gives them practical advice for dealing with real life situations.
One of my colleagues and dear friends recommended that I should read this book. I’m so glad she did. I absolutely love it! The central focus of this book is that “children with learning problems tend to struggle with social relationships”. The author gives practical advice and everyday ways you can help your child improve their social functioning. He recognizes that due to children’s learning disabilities, they may not be able to pick up on the social cues like other kids, so they need more direct instruction and guidance to learn how to interact with others and be a good friend.
I read this book several years ago; I loved it then and I continue to recommend it to parents as a great guide to understanding the world of girls. I also saw Rosalind Wiseman speak in person several years ago, and I found her to have a down to earth, practical and reasonable approach to working with kids in these tough relational situations. She doesn’t claim to have all the answers or say that these things won’t happen. But she does have some ideas of how to work through things and is great at explaining things in a way that parents understand.
Book Review: Best Friends, Worst Enemies Understanding the Social Lives of Children by Michael Thompson, PhD and Catherine O’Neill Grace with Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD
This book is a thorough examination of children’s social lives, from infancy through dating. The authors explore more specifics of how children develop friendships, manage and work through conflict, group dynamics, teasing and bullying. The only thing I think is missing in this book is that the authors do not delve too deeply into LGBT issues, and I think that adds a whole other dynamic to social lives, friendship and dating. Here are my highlights from the book:
Several people have recently recommended that I read this book, so I was eager to do so. How this book was even written shows a great determination by Naoki to share his story. The author can’t communicate verbally, but instead tapped out the words using an alphabet grid, where he points to the letters and spells out his answers. This in and of itself is pretty incredible, but then he articulately describes what it’s like to be autistic. It was a powerful read, but a couple of things really stuck with me. He talks about how neurotypical people assume that people with autism want to be alone and by themselves, and it makes you think twice about your interactions with people who seem like they want to be by themselves.
This book has a lot of great advice for parents who want to help their children make friends. It's broken down into 12 sections, with each section focusing on a particular personality trait or behavioral characteristic (e.g. “the shy child”, “the little adult”, “the sensitive soul”). You don't have to read the book cover to cover, just pick the sections that pertain to your child and dive in.
