Friendships are such a wonderful and special part of life. From memory making to going through the highs and lows with your peers makes life so much richer. As a child, learning social skills and how friendships fit is a huge learning curve as they go through their childhood and find their ‘people’. As a parent, how do you connect and how do you teach your kids basic social skills and about what a great friendship can be?
Today Janine is joined by Caroline Maguire and in this episode they discuss:
How do we teach our children social and emotional awareness in a fun and play filled way? Eventually our children will become adults so when they walk out into the world, we want them to step into their lives as aware and in control of their emotions as possible.
In this episode we discuss:
The transition to preschool to elementary school can be such an anxious time for both parents and for the children. There’s a lot of unknowns to get them ready for and sometimes we think there’s lots we have to do to prepare them for starting. Today we discuss what you can do to help reduce anxiety for your little one with nursery practitioner, Caroline Allen.
In this episode they discuss:
It’s that time of year when people are making New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve been thinking about some of the basics (organize my house, clean up my eating habits, etc) but I’ve also been thinking about what I can do encourage playing and friendships in my own home. Here are some New Year’s Resolutions to make 2015 a great year!!
I originally posted this back in September. I created a free printable to make implementing a kindness wall easier, see below!!
Our kids tend to get along pretty well, and even when there’s an argument, they can get past it pretty quickly. However, at the end of the summer and for the first week of the school year, our kids seemed to be more cranky and less patient with each other than normal. I’m not sure if it was because their bodies hadn’t adjusted to the new schedule or if they were just tired of going all day. All I knew was that I wanted to change how they were acting toward one another. I wanted them to focus on showing kindness to one another. When I was a School Counselor, I helped start a Kindness Wall of Fame at my school. Every time any adult saw a child do something kind, the adult could choose to give that child a star for being a kind member of our school. I decided to implement our own Kindness Wall at home.
It’s that time of year when people start thinking about gifts to buy. I really love the idea of getting and giving games, especially those that can be played on a playdate with just two kids. Last year, I wrote a post where I listed five games that would be ideal to play on a small playdate, which is perfect for kids who are working on their social skills. Here are 5 MORE games that would be great to have on hand for a small playdate. They’re also great games for families too. You can practice and play together and have fun!
I watched a really interesting TED talk by Peter Gray about the state of play today. I initially saw this video on Facebook with a caption reading “Kids today are more depressed than they were during the great depression”. As a therapist, that immediately got my attention, and I decided to watch it. What a great video! Here are a few key points I took away from the video:
It’s expected that every morning I drink a cup of coffee. If I don’t have coffee, that’s unexpected. It’s expected that when it’s time for dinner, everyone comes in and sits at the table. It’s unexpected if one family member gets up from the table and starts dancing in the middle of the kitchen while everyone else is eating their meal. It’s expected that at bedtime, you get into your bed and lay down quietly. It’s unexpected that you come downstairs and ask for more to eat.
I recently found the website of Annie Fox, M. Ed., which is full practical advice for teens, parents and educators! Annie Fox, M. Ed. has written a new book for elementary school aged girls about dealing with friendship issues called Girls Q&A Book on Friendship. As a school counselor, I would have used this book all the time! This book answers questions that I was faced with on a regular basis. The social scenario for girls is complex and ever changing. This is a great book for girls to read to know that they are not alone, and gives them practical advice for dealing with real life situations.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month so I thought it would be a great time to talk about kindness. Recently I posted about creating a kindness wall in my home to promote kind acts. Today’s activity helps kids think about how your words and actions impact other people. I did this activity with my own kids to help them understand the long lasting effect their words can have, even after they say sorry.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a review of the book It’s So Much Work to Be Your Friend by Richard Lavoie. I absolutely love this book, and I wanted to focus in particular on one of his interventions that can help kids learn from their social errors in the moment - The Social Skill Autopsy. Addressing a social misstep and using it as a teachable moment is a great way to help kids identify what went wrong and what they could try again the next time.
If your child is trying to figure out who would be a good friend, or who would be a good peer to invite over for a playdate, start by talking with them about what to look for in a friend. There are so many different attributes your child might want in a potential friend, but they may not always be the best things to look for in someone. If your child is having a hard time making friends, they might say they’d like to be friends with the most popular child or the one that has the biggest, coolest stuff in their house. It makes sense to talk about attributes and characteristics they want to see in someone they’d want in a friendship. Here is a brief list of characteristics you can use as a starting point for a conversation about attributes in a good friendship:
I’m a big proponent of having a family game night. I’ve even written two posts about great games for families - one focused on elementary school and one focused on preschool. But you might be wondering how game night can benefit your kids. It’s a great weekly habit that can promote a lot of positive behavioral growth. Here are four reasons to fit it into your weekly schedule.
My kids tend to get along pretty well, and even when there’s an argument, they can get past it pretty quickly. However, at the end of the summer and for the first week of the school year, our kids seemed to be more cranky and less patient with each other than normal. I’m not sure if it was because their bodies hadn’t adjusted to the new schedule or if they were just tired of going all day. All I knew was that I wanted to change how they were acting toward one another. I wanted them to focus on showing kindness to one another. When I was a School Counselor, I helped start a Kindness Wall of Fame at my school. Every time any adult saw a child do something kind, the adult could choose to give that child a star for being a kind member of our school. I decided to implement our own Kindness Wall at home.
One of my colleagues and dear friends recommended that I should read this book. I’m so glad she did. I absolutely love it! The central focus of this book is that “children with learning problems tend to struggle with social relationships”. The author gives practical advice and everyday ways you can help your child improve their social functioning. He recognizes that due to children’s learning disabilities, they may not be able to pick up on the social cues like other kids, so they need more direct instruction and guidance to learn how to interact with others and be a good friend.
I've written before about how you can use videos to teach social skills to kids (check out this blog post for more information about using videos in general). One of my favorite lessons to teach using videos is about personal space. I loved showing the two videos below because of the laughter and conversations that happened when we watched something a little silly together. Here’s what you can do if you want to use videos to start a discussion with your kids about personal space:
Just because it's scheduled time doesn’t mean it lacks imagination.
Kids need to play in order to practice creativity and flexibility, solve problems and learn ways to regulate emotions, and I’ve already addressed the importance of play in this blog post. A new phenomenon in play has evolved since I was a child, the scheduled play date. The play date has been getting some negative press recently, with people listing all the things they don’t like about them. There are pros and cons to everything, so I decided to explain why I appreciate play dates. I’ve found them to be helpful for a number of the children I‘ve worked with over the years, and I schedule play dates for my own children from time to time.
I was intrigued by this TED Talk by Tim Brown because of the title - Tales of creativity and play. Tim Brown is the CEO of a consultancy company, and you might be thinking - what the heck does a CEO of a company know about play??!? Quite a lot, it turns out. This is an interesting TED talk to watch because he has the audience actually do a few creative activities, including drawing and shooting little foam rockets around the room. What I love about this TED talk is that he connects play with how that helps the creative process in the work place and suggests that adults should use play more. Here’s what resonated with me from this TED talk:
