Friendships are such a wonderful and special part of life. From memory making to going through the highs and lows with your peers makes life so much richer. As a child, learning social skills and how friendships fit is a huge learning curve as they go through their childhood and find their ‘people’. As a parent, how do you connect and how do you teach your kids basic social skills and about what a great friendship can be?
Today Janine is joined by Caroline Maguire and in this episode they discuss:
How do we teach our children social and emotional awareness in a fun and play filled way? Eventually our children will become adults so when they walk out into the world, we want them to step into their lives as aware and in control of their emotions as possible.
In this episode we discuss:
The transition to preschool to elementary school can be such an anxious time for both parents and for the children. There’s a lot of unknowns to get them ready for and sometimes we think there’s lots we have to do to prepare them for starting. Today we discuss what you can do to help reduce anxiety for your little one with nursery practitioner, Caroline Allen.
In this episode they discuss:
Very early in my career, a colleague shared a resource with me that I have found incredibly helpful. It’s called a Solution Wheel. When kids are having a conflict, sometimes they don’t always know what to do. In the moment, they can’t remember things that they can do to help work through a problem. Using a solution wheel is a great resource to help them figure out different ways to solve a problem.
Social Stories are a great tool to help kids manage difficult or confusing situations. It’s a way to give information about those situations, including what is expected or what might happen in a simple, supportive and reassuring way. Carol Gray initially defined and refined the process of creating social stories. They can be particularly effective with kids who are on the spectrum, but they can also be used with anyone who just needs a little help to manage a situation or events. I’ve written social stories for kids at school to help them manage continuing a grade or losing a game at recess. One of my colleagues and I even wrote a social story about not passing gas in the classroom (for real, it is the funniest social story ever!!).
One of the first more elaborate projects I remember doing with my daughter was making a puppet theater. We took a cardboard box (our favorite toy around here) and painted it and made curtains from scraps of cloth. She had a blast using her finger puppets for the show, and later setting up toy figures. However, the box got old and tattered, so we got rid of it.
Friendships can be awesome, but they can also be complicated. For kids who struggle to understand the basics of how to be a friend, or what to do when things get a little more tricky, using books is a great way to start conversations and talk about friendship with kids. There are so many great books out there - here are some of my favorites divided up by category.
I love our neighborhood. We moved here 14 years ago, and we knew immediately that we lucked out with our entire neighborhood. When moved to the suburbs, we were just a couple of city kids; we used black trash bags to bag our leaves; we didn’t know that wasn’t how it’s done in the suburbs ;-) I think every single one of our neighbors gently set us on the right path. That’s how it is here. We look out for each other: we watch each other’s houses when we’re away on vacation, we water each other’s gardens and we even have block parties together.
I recently read a great article about 4 things kids don’t need (and some things they do). This article is exactly what I’ve been trying to focus on with my family. My new year’s resolution was to rotate toys more regularly, and I wanted to make sure the toys we’re rotating through were ideal for open ended, creative play. I made a list of the toys we do have and tried to focus on ones that would meet those criteria. Here’s some of what we have:
The Incredible 5-Point Scale by Kari Dunn Baron and Mitzi Curtis is a great resource for people to use in a school setting, a social group setting or at home. It can be used to address a number of different issues, and it’s a great resource for working not only with kids on the spectrum, but for all kids who need a little extra teaching around social and emotional concerns.
Have you ever had one of those parenting moments where you realize you thought you had taught your kids something, but realized you actually never had?
I realized recently that my daughter doesn't know what being flexible means. I say it to her all the time and I always thought she understood what I meant. Today my son was a little cranky, so I asked her to be flexible. As I watched, she continued to be inflexible. I finally asked asked her “What do I mean when I say be flexible with your brother?” She said “be nice”. While I think it's good that she knows to be nice to her brother it's actually not what flexibility is all about.
Family time is can be awesome, AND is a great way to connect with your kids. I've talked about the importance of a family game night before and even starting a family book club. I wanted to talk about another way families can hang out together and interact - during Family Movie Night!
One of my New Year’s Resolutions for my family was to do some random acts of kindness. I want my kids to understand the importance of being kind and helping others. I also want them to learn to be contributing and thoughtful members of society.
Inside: A quick and easy to set up lesson to teach kids about the size of different problems they face, and the size of their reactions to these problems.
Sometimes, my daughter can be a little dramatic. A small issue like breaking a pencil can lead to a big reaction. The last time it happened, it made me think of a lesson I’ve done with kids in groups or in individual therapy to help them identify the size of a problem and the size of their reaction.
I was invited to join a group of wonderful bloggers to write for the series Happy New Year, Healthy Kids. This series is focused on ways we can help our kids be happy and healthy in this new year. But what do social skills and friendship have to do with health?
Think for a minute about the positive friendships in your life. Healthy friendships provide support, make you feel connected with others, reduce your stress and increase your happiness. It’s so wonderful to have these people around you! In order for kids to start and maintain friendships so they can experience these benefits too, kids need to learn social skills and how to interact positively with others.
